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Meet My New Group of Friends: Emotions

June 18, 2013

EmotionsI have a new group of Friends; they are called and referred to as Emotions.

Now you may ask why in the world would I come to refer to Emotions as so-called friends? And who are these so-called friends?

Well as someone at the ripe age of 49, never married and having been on my own self supporting since the age of 15, I guess with having realized along the way on this journey chosen for me (My kid Annette which you may or may not remember MY MS) which I have come to call her and I guess she acts up every now and than along the way. But I will never blame her for my MS or my emotions but back to the topic at hand.

My friends that I have found partially missing in my life along the way are those Emotions I have not allowed myself to feel and in part blocked many of them out. Hidden them, held them back and I guess never really allowed them to be felt. Now YOU know these friends, many of you know them as hurt, frustration, anger, sadness, love, jealousy and I am sure YOU can add to this list with me. I find myself so many times holding the simplest of things back like Tears, in part they are tears of sadness when I am watching a great Hallmark Movie with a mother and daughter (Lost my own in 92 when I first moved in my home) and she was only 49 years old. Yes that was too young and in part I have to say there are things that I am and have been so much like her in so many ways but at other times they are Tears of happiness too.

My friend Leah, who has truly been my sister/best friend and on this journey with me shares her Mom with me in part, but also reminds me that it is ok to feel. And to realize that the emotions held back were, I guess, in part, my way of protecting my shield. This is my words, not hers, but I always realize and remind myself that there is always strength in vulnerability.

I end by saying this is maybe a PART 1 of a never ending journey of my new friends I allowed into my life recently. And those friends, next to the so many others in my close safe network, remind me each and everyday I am not alone. And today’s emotion was a bit of shame, embarrassment and more so anger at myself undeserved. Lunch with a dear friend and old client and his daughter. A reminder that this young lady and the waitress that I knew from another place I used to frequent reminded me it is ok, they both allowed me to feel safe and it was and is ok. So I end by saying these new friends of mine they may not always be introduced to you so easily but they are here with me and I have no choice but to take them with me ONE day at a time.

Image courtesy: freedigitalphotos.net / pichart99thai

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One Comment leave one →
  1. January 27, 2014 3:42 pm

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